No, that’s not my excuse for not posting anything for a long time. Pleasantries aside, this post is intended to reveal to the world the deals that went behind the strategic time-out in IPL V2. Not that the people haven’t figured it out already. The real motive behind the move was figured out by members of every species with brain anything more than the size of an apple. But for completeness’ sake, I’ll describe the events in detail.
Looking at the TRPs and the media revenue for IPL V1, Mr. Modi was a sad man. He had not managed sufficient money to buy the police force of India to provide security for IPL V2. To add to his worries, his venture will have to fight it out for media attention with the greatest indian entertainment programme, the general elections. He hired Chopa, investment banker by night (irrespective of which timezone he is in), strategic consultant by the day, to help IPL gather more revenues. So one fine morning, Chopa walked into Modi’s office.
Modi: Welcome, Chopa. We are glad we have you to guide us.
Chopa: No problem. I hope you’ve got the Daru.
Modi: It’s all taken care of. We badly need your help in revamping IPL.
Chopa: What is your objective? Provide entertainment to the masses through Cricket?
Modi: Haha. That’s our stated objective. But the goal of any organization, including IPL, is to make money.
Chopa: Good. You’ve read the books I had sent you. Now, I will work on a detailed study on your revenue streams. Where are your books?
Modi: It’s all right here. We have an open book and open door policy when it comes to IPL.
Chopa: Aha ! There is your problem. You have an open door policy.
Modi: I don’t understand. What does it have anything to do with our revenues?
Chopa: What you need is Strategy. And you need to close doors in any strategy.
Modi: You mean, the dressing room doors should be closed to improve our revenues?
Chopa: Grrr Forget it. Leave the implementation to me. What I need you to do is help me put the strategy in place.
Modi: Good idea. Let us have a strategy.
Chopa: This isn’t getting anywhere. Are you even listening to me?
Modi: Right. We must listen to the players. But you realize that the crowd in india is really hard to control. With all the people shouting and cheering, I barely manage to hear the questions that the TV men ask me, let alone the players. Maybe we should move to some other place where the crowd remains quiet. Better, let’s find a place where there will be no crowd at all.
Chopa: Mr. Modi, TIME OUT. TIME OUT. Please stop talking and listen to me.
Modi: Excellent. What we need is a time out. Strategy. A strategic time out.
Chopa: Wait, that’s not what I said.
Modi: Doesn’t matter. I’ve got my plans in place to get the money. Thank you very much, Chopa. We will not be needing your services anymore.
The rest, as they say, is history. Or lack of it. Whatever. Watch is live on TV.
